When you hear the word "autism", what comes to mind? Maybe it's the image of a brilliant mathematician with extraordinary abilities, or a child who avoids eye contact and lives in their own world. Both of these visions may have a grain of truth in them, but neither fully reflects what autism spectrum disorder is. Because, as the name suggests – it is a spectrum. I am the mother of a wonderful boy who is on the spectrum. And for years, before I understood it deeply, I myself wandered in assumptions, stereotypes and uncertainty. Today, I want to tell you what autism spectrum disorder is, as I understand it – simply, from the heart, but also vividly and clearly. Imagine… a Radio For me, it's easiest to think of autism spectrum disorder as a radio. You have a radio that has many stations. One station is classical music, another is rock, another is news. Each station broadcasts its programme, and you, as a listener, may have your preferences. Now imagine that the radio of a neurotypical person (that is, most of us) is perfectly tuned. The signal is clear, the sound is clear, everything works smoothly. In a person on the autism spectrum, this radio may have a slightly different "frequency", or some "knobs" may be set differently. "Sound" knob (sensory perception) For my son, some sounds are like a sudden, loud screech, even if for me it's just a quiet hum of the fridge. The touch of some materials can be unpleasant, and the light can be more dazzling. Their radio receives signals from the world with different sensitivity – sometimes too strong, sometimes too weak. "Communication" knob (social interactions and language) Sometimes it's as if their radio is broadcasting on a different frequency than the radio of the rest of the world. They want to communicate, but sometimes they don't catch the subtle signals, tone of voice or facial expressions that are obvious to us. Or they themselves send signals that are difficult for us to decipher. They may have difficulty starting a conversation, maintaining eye contact or understanding jokes. "Programming" knob (repetitive behaviours and routines) Imagine that their radio has a favourite, very specific station that they want to listen to over and over again. Routine and predictability give them a sense of security and peace. Changing the programme (even a small one) can cause great discomfort, because it's like someone suddenly changed their favourite station to something completely unknown. Why is it a "spectrum"? And here we come back to the "spectrum". Because just as on the radio you have millions of different stations and combinations of settings, so in the autism spectrum every person is different. One child may have great difficulty with speech, another may be a real chatterbox, but not understand how to conduct a dialogue. One may react very strongly to loud sounds, another to smells. One may need rigid, unchanging routines, and another will have a more flexible approach. That's why we no longer talk about "Asperger's syndrome" or "high-functioning autism", but about Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). Because it is one big, vast spectrum, on which everyone has their unique place. What does this mean for us? For me, as a mother, it means one thing: understanding and acceptance. This is not something that needs to be "fixed", it is simply a different way of functioning. Our task, as parents, friends, members of society, is to learn to "tune" to their frequency, help them cope with the challenges that their "radio" poses to them, and celebrate their extraordinary, often surprising talents. Because children on the spectrum, despite their difficulties, often have amazing abilities – extraordinary memory, deep interests, creativity, a unique view of the world. They simply see the world in different colours, hear it with different sounds and feel it in a different way. I hope this analogy with the radio has helped you understand at least a little what autism spectrum disorder is. Remember – every person on the spectrum is unique, deserves respect, understanding and a chance to develop their full potential.

As a mother of a child on the spectrum, I know how easy it is to fall into the trap of over-analysing every behaviour of a toddler. The internet is full of lists of "symptoms" that can make you dizzy and anxious. It is important to look at the child's development holistically and remember that every child develops at their own pace. Remember that a single symptom rarely indicates autism. Rather, it is patterns of behaviour and failure to achieve milestones in key areas (social interactions, communication, repetitive behaviours) that should raise concern. The earlier we notice these signs, the sooner we can react and provide the child with appropriate support. Below you will find signs to look out for, divided into groups: Difficulties in social interactions (from around 6-12 months) Observe the lack of or limited eye contact, avoidance of reciprocating smiles, lack of response to their name, and lack of social gestures (e.g. "bye-bye", pointing). The child may show little interest in people, prefer to play alone and not seek to share joy or imitate adult facial expressions. Difficulties in communication (verbal and non-verbal) Pay attention to the lack of babbling, delayed or lack of speech development, and especially the loss of previously acquired words or communication skills. It is worrying to use speech, but not for communication, difficulty understanding simple commands, and lack of "proto-declarative pointing" (pointing to draw attention to something interesting). Repetitive behaviours and limited interests Observe motor stereotypes (waving hands, rocking), rigid routines and strong resistance to change. There may be an intense fascination with unusual objects or repetitive, obsessive activities. Sensory hypersensitivity or hyposensitivity (e.g. to sounds, touch, pain) are also important signs. What does NOT have to be a reason to panic? Remember that some of these behaviours may occur in any child and be part of their normal development. Below are signs that, in themselves, rarely indicate autism: Single, sporadic behaviour: If a child occasionally avoids eye contact or waves their hands, it is usually not a cause for concern if overall development is normal. Phase of development: At certain times, children may focus on repetitive movements, develop specific interests, or have temporary difficulties with communication. It is important to observe whether these behaviours are dominant, persist and intensify. Single delay in one area: If your child communicates and makes contact well, but starts talking a little later, it often means that they simply need more time to develop in that particular area. It is important whether the delays concern many areas and are unrelated to other progress. Shyness or introversion: A child may simply be shy and therefore prefer to play alone or in smaller groups. This is not the same as a lack of interest in social interactions. When to seek help? If you notice many of the listed signs that persist over time, intensify and affect your child's functioning in daily life - do not hesitate. Consult a paediatrician who will refer you to appropriate specialists: a child psychologist, neurologist, speech therapist, or sensory integration therapist. Early diagnosis and early intervention are key to supporting a child's development and improving their quality of life. Trust your parental intuition. No one knows your child better than you do. Observe, take notes and don't be afraid to ask questions. You are your child's best advocate.

As a mother of a child on the autism spectrum, I often encounter questions full of concern, and sometimes misunderstanding: "Will he cope?", "Isn't it too difficult for him?", "Is he even happy?". I know these questions come from good intentions, but deep down there is always an echo of thought in them: "He sees the world differently, so probably worse." Today I want to debunk this myth. My child, like many other children on the spectrum, does perceive the world differently. But that differently does not mean worse at all. On the contrary, it often means perspectives that are richer, more detailed, and sometimes just... magical. Details that we miss Imagine you are walking down the street. You see people, cars, shop windows. Your brain automatically filters out excess information, focusing on what it considers important. Now think of a child on the spectrum. For him, every detail can be equally intense, equally important. My son can spend hours watching raindrops running down the window, being hypnotised by swirling leaves, or noticing shadows that are invisible to me. Once, during a walk, I was looking at the city skyline, and he was admiring a single blade of grass, on which a dewdrop sat, shimmering in the sun. Is this a worse view of the world? Absolutely not. It's a deeper, more attentive look at the little wonders that we, in our haste and automation, simply miss. A different operating system, but with unique features I often compare the mind of a person on the spectrum to a computer with a different operating system. We, neurotypical people, run on Windows, and they may be on macOS or Linux. Each system has its advantages and disadvantages. Some functions are different in them, require a different approach, but that does not mean that one system is by definition better than the other. Detailed memory My son remembers facts, dates, names that I forget as soon as I hear them. His "hard drive" stores information in a way that is often inaccessible to us. Logical thinking When I look for shortcuts, he analyses the problem with unusual logic, often finding solutions that I would not have thought of. He is not afraid to think "outside the box" because he is not as constrained by it as we are. Intense passions When something interests him, he can delve into the topic with unusual passion and determination. This is not a superficial hobby, it is a real dedication, which often leads to the development of extraordinary talents and expert knowledge. A world without "grey areas" For many people on the spectrum, the world is black and white, and the rules are clear and unchanging. For us adults, this is sometimes frustrating – after all, life is so many nuances! But think about how much stress and uncertainty our "grey area" brings. Children on the spectrum often value honesty, simplicity and clarity of intention. They don't play social games, they are not two-faced. Their world is often more authentic, free from hidden meanings and unclear signals. This teaches us patience, precision in communication and respect for honesty. In summary... Yes, our children see the world differently. They perceive it with different senses, interpret it through a different lens, react to it in their unique way. Sometimes this means challenges that we have to overcome together. But never – ever – does it mean that their world is worse, less valuable or less beautiful. Our task, as parents, friends, teachers, is not to try to "fix" them by force so that they fit our pattern. Our task is to open up to their perspective, learn from them, see the beauty in their unique way of perceiving. Because in their eyes, the world is often full of details, passions and authenticity that we, in our "normal" world, do not even notice. And that, in my opinion, makes their vision of the world not only different, but often – simply – more beautiful. What do you think? Do these thoughts resonate with your experiences?

I remember that day like it was yesterday. The words of the SEN specialist who referred us for diagnosis blurred into one big buzz, arousing anxiety in me, although I had suspected autism for a long time... And then came the emptiness, and immediately after it – a real storm of emotions. There was fear, uncertainty, sadness, but above all, somewhere deep down, this question appeared, quiet but powerful: "Why me?" If you know this, know that you are not alone. This is one of the most natural and common feelings that accompanies parents after receiving a diagnosis of autism spectrum in their child. And there is nothing shameful in it. A storm of emotions, or what you feel when the world stops A child's diagnosis on the spectrum is a turning point. Suddenly, everything you knew about the future, about parenthood, about how it was supposed to be, is called into question. It's like grief – grief for the imagined future, for the ideal image you carried in your head. Shock and disbelief For a moment, the mind refuses to acknowledge what it has heard. This is impossible. It's a mistake. Sadness and despair After the shock comes the realisation of loss. Loss of a carefree future, a sense of helplessness and the burden of responsibility. Anger and frustration You may feel angry at fate, at injustice, and even at yourself – although this is irrational, because nothing is your fault. Guilt "What did I do wrong?", "Is it my fault?". These questions are exhausting, but you must remember – autism is nobody's fault. Anxiety and uncertainty What next? What will our life look like? Will we cope? Will my child be happy? Thousands of unanswered questions can be overwhelming. Isolation You may feel lonely, misunderstood, as if no one else is going through the same thing. Sometimes it is difficult to talk about it with loved ones. All these emotions are absolutely natural and healthy. It's your mind and heart trying to process a huge, life-changing piece of information. Give yourself permission to feel them. Don't judge yourself for them. How to deal with this "Why me?" Working through these emotions is a process, not a one-off event. Here are some ways that can help you: Give yourself time to grieve This is a time to mourn what has changed. Don't rush, don't pretend everything is okay. Allow yourself sadness, anger and disappointment. Seek information, but in moderation Knowledge is power, but too much information can be overwhelming. Find reliable sources, ask specialists. Understanding the spectrum will help you feel more confident. Find your "support group" This is the most important thing! Look for other parents of children on the spectrum. On the internet, in local groups, on forums. Sharing experiences, frustrations and successes is invaluable. Take care of yourself This is not selfishness, it is a necessity. You can't pour from an empty vessel. Find time for your passions, rest, a moment of silence. If you are exhausted, you will not have the strength to support your child. Allow yourself professional support If emotions overwhelm you, don't be afraid to seek help from a psychologist or therapist. This is not a sign of weakness, but of wisdom and care for yourself and your family. Focus on the "here and now" Instead of worrying about the distant future, focus on small steps, on what you can do today. Celebrate your child's small successes and your own. Remember: you are not alone Millions of parents around the world have gone through the same thing. You have a strength within you that you may not have discovered yet. Your child is special, and you are their best advocate. The question "Why me?" is natural. It is important to let it resonate, but not to let it paralyse you. After the storm, the sun always comes out, and with each day you will be stronger, wiser and more rooted in love for your extraordinary child. I hope this article gives you a sense of support and understanding. Is there anything else you would like to talk about?